I remember thinking the day of Finn's baby shower, "This is probably the last big party anyone will throw for me." I felt as if I had passed some milestone of adulthood, after which I was, in some ways, on the sidelines. I had fallen, as I often do, into the tendency, not altogether untrue or unhelpful, to group my life into stages. But with this partitioning can come a rather heavy sense of closing as one stage ends.
When we graduate from high school, then from college, or we get married or get our dream job or have our first child, we can be tempted to think, "this is it. My adventure is over." Even worse, we may think our chance for adventure never came. After all, the film ends with happily ever after and the credits roll, leaving us to think that nothing is left to see. What happens after you've "found the one," taken that road trip, set out on your own, or proven them all wrong? Are you doomed to fall into malaise? Is happily ever after just the beginning of a life of boredom?
The thing about adventures is they are charged with meaning: a goal must be reached, some thing worth saving must be preserved or some thing worth finding must be found. There is an inherent urgency about adventures. They sweep you up into them, yet you feel as if, insignificant as you may be, you have some role to play. Your choices matter. It's not elves or spells, so much as mortal stakes that are essential to an adventure story.
If you believe the "true myth" of Christianity, however, there is no such thing as a life without adventure. Every man, woman, and child is living the most extraordinary adventure in the history of the universe, because there is no such things as an ordinary human being. Each person is an incarnated soul, a miracle of earth and the breath of God. Every action they take is important, because it affects not only their own immortal soul, but also those of other souls as they make their way toward eternal communion with God or eternal loneliness without Him.
To be a human is to take part every day in a drama the angels watch with baited breath: will we choose beauty, truth, and goodness today, namely God, or will we throw away another opportunity for grace. More often than not, we do the latter, not through malice, but from some mistaken idea that it doesn't matter.
Yet I have to believe, have pledged to believe as a Catholic, that actions of the human heart matter immensely. It is a terrifying and exhilarating tenant of my faith that I am already engaged in the business of eternity.
I might not ever find myself in the spotlight of human fame. I might not leave much for history to ponder. I might live simply the rest of my days, looking for all the world the picture of ordinariness. But I know that my adventure did not end when I left my academic life at college or said "I
Do." It didn't grind to a halt because I gave up the chance for work or travel to raise children. My adventure, which started before I drew breath, will continue. to the end of my days. Every day until then is weighted with meaning, as I choose to follow that road which goes ever on and on toward the farthest shore.
Today is: The Feast of St. Hilary
Finn is: Two and one half tomorrow
Gigi is: 11 months tomorrow
Mama just read: The Moviegoer by Walker Percy
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